What just happened? Chalk up another one for the video game movie curse. The big-screen adaptation of Borderlands is getting absolutely destroyed by critics out of the gate. As of now, it's sitting on a 9% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with the vast majority of reviews calling this a colossal misfire despite an all-star cast and a somewhat promising trailer.
The movie opened to a devastating 0% on Rotten Tomatoes with reviewers calling it out for sloppy writing, bad directing, poor dialogue, and more – even as some praised it for getting the post-apocalypse setting right.
"It's dragged us back to a time when studios used to make these with all the grace and acuity of a drunk person attempting to place a 3am chicken nugget order," snarks critic Clarisse Loughrey, completely eviscerating the movie right out of the gate.
After a few more reviewers weighed in, that initial 0% has been elevated to a whopping... 9%. One of those relatively positive takes comes from Beyond the Trailer, but their praise seems almost entirely focused on the always-brilliant Cate Blanchett going full badass as Lilith. In fact, several other reviewers echoed those sentiments.
For instance, Vicky Jessop has this to say: "In her chameleonic career, Cate Blanchett has donned many guises – but never before has she had the chance to be a gun-toting, ass-kicking action star. Sadly, Borderlands is an unworthy vehicle for her swaggering performance."
It's rather depressing considering we hoped the days of stillborn video game movie monstrosities were finally behind us.
We're talking real anti-classics on the level of Tekken (2009) and Assassin's Creed (2016). While Assassin's Creed rocks a still respectable 18% (at least when pitched against Borderlands), Tekken is still stuck at rock bottom with 0% all these years later.
Things seemingly turned for the better after a streak of relatively fresh adaptations like Pokemon Detective Pikachu (68%) and the two surprisingly delightful Sonic the Hedgehog flicks (64% and 68%). Not to mention the now-canceled Halo series, which despite being far from canon, currently boasts a very respectable 80% rating – and of course, the TV masterclasses that were The Last of Us and the upcoming Fallout series.
However, with Borderlands' abysmal performance, it almost feels like we're back to square one – a shame considering the film features a stacked ensemble cast besides Cate Blanchett, including Kevin Hart (Roland), Jamie Lee Curtis (Tannis), Jack Black (Claptrap), Ariana Greenblatt (Tiny Tina), and Florian Munteanu (Krieg).
Hopefully, the upcoming Minecraft movie fares better, which, by the way, stars Jack Black once again.